then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
