Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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