And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize