Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
How external is "for external use only"?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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