It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize