a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
