my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
