You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
