you traded sex for a burrito?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
