Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
