So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
