Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
