For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
