is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
