Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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