now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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