**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
