if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
