found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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