Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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