She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
kristin has been a bad kristin
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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