Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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