You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize