I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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