Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
