Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
thus making me awesome and them whores
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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