I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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