you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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