but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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