He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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