Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
