I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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