Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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