She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
