Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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