I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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