You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
people are starting to question the shark bite story
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
