I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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