Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
