Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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