you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
