Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
sarcasm needs its own font
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
