Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
