I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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