Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
