so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
