Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
