i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
