i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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