And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize