he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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