We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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