Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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