NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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