Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
