they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I stole a fireplace last night.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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