It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
