Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
