went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
