I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
