what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
These tits shall not be calmed
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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