none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
