Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
