Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
