you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
