My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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