You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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